Tuesday was our official start. And in true Jenn fashion, I totally over-thought everything and under-estimated myself. I'm not sure what happens or why, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I've been working on this stuff for a year and I can do more than I think I can.
I totally wimped out Tuesday. It was a fitness test and I was supposed to go all out and kick ass and I freaking didn't. I played it safe. I ended up feeling like I had sold myself short and I didn't do my best at all. I did do 700 jump ropes in around 7.5 minutes, but the rest of the workout? Crap.
I beat myself up over it all the rest of the night. Wednesday came and I wasn't even sore other than some calf tenderness from the jump roping. I want to be sore. I want Wednesdays and Fridays to be rest days for a reason and I want to feel every muscle telling me it hates me. I want it to count.
Thursday workout, I was ready. Well, I wanted to be ready. I've been having some tough days at work and the stress is pretty crazy. I spent Thursday nursing a headache and generally feeling awful. I actually thought about not even going, taking the night at home and seeing Aaron. I hadn't seen him awake since Sunday and I was missing him (we work opposite shifts.) I got home and he told me to get my ass out the door. I did.
Right before we started I had a brief conversation with Carlos, one of the awesome trainers at the gym, and Rudy who is in my Tribe. Rudy can jump rope like a boxer and is generally just a bad ass. We briefly discussed that this whole thing is a mental game. Its not always about being strong or being able to do a whole bunch of burpees, its about believing you can. It was exactly what had been on my mind all day. So, at that moment I just gave in to it. I just let go of all the negative stuff in my head and decided that that night, I was going to give it my everything from the moment we started. No reserving energy, no holding back, nothing.
And then Justin explained the workout. In fact, he had to explain it several times because it just didn't seem like it was possible. Here's what we were to do:
250 jump ropes
Set 1:
15 Push ups
15 Side lunges
15 Prone rows
15 Squat jumps
Repeat this three times
20 burpees
Repeat Set 1 three times again
20 burpees
250 jump ropes
You get all that? We were incredulous. All ten of us. Added up, that's 90 push ups, 90 side lunges, 90 prone rows, 90 jump squats, 40 burpees and 500 jump ropes. I did have to use my knees on the last 30 push ups, but I did them. I did them all dammit and it was glorious!
On my last set of prone rows, I was hurting. At that point another Tribe member, Jeff, was ready to start his last prone rows as well. We were side by side and we just went for it. I don't know if it was as much of a help for him as it was for me... but his support and effort totally carried me through that last bit. If you ever wondered how heavy a ten pound dumbbell can be, do the exercises as described. I swear those things felt like a hundred pounds!
So, guess what happened? I finished. With about a minute left, I dropped my jump rope and looked around. Smiles. A lot of sweaty, happy, satisfied, exhausted smiles everywhere. This is the best part of this type of workout. In a large group, you get to know a couple of people but mostly its a bunch of strangers. Here, you know everyone's names and why they're there and who they are. You cheer each other on and you do more than you imagined possible simply because you have a group of people expecting you to finish, believing that you can. In only this tiny bit of time, I can see where this is headed. In this day and age of Facebook and email and texting, its a rare thing to have a group of real people your age experiencing this sort of thing. Of being a part of something. (I realize this sounds super corny, but its the truth. I'm a sap. I know. Its okay.)
Last night, we named our Tribe after reflecting on our self-punishment. Laughing about how we actually signed up for this crazy thing and how hard it was, but still wanting to do our best, to challenge ourselves in new ways every week.
I am so proud to count myself among The Punishers. Ten bad asses trying to be better. I haven't had this much fun since I was a kid.
P.S. I earned this rest night of writing. My arms are sore, my hip flexors are on fire. I'm loving every minute. Those bastards will be stronger tomorrow.
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