"Fibromyalgia (FM or FMS) is characterised by chronic widespread pain and a heightened and painful response to pressure.[1] Fibromyalgia symptoms are not restricted to pain, leading to the use of the alternative term fibromyalgia syndrome for the condition. Other symptoms include debilitating fatigue, sleep disturbance, and joint stiffness. Some people[2] also report difficulty with swallowing,[3] bowel and bladder abnormalities,[4]numbness and tingling,[5] and cognitive dysfunction.[6] Fibromyalgia is frequently associated with psychiatric conditions such as depression and anxiety and stress-related disorders such as posttraumatic stress disorder.[7][8] Not all people with fibromyalgia experience all associated symptoms."
In March 2005 at the age of 33 I gave birth to my twin sons. It was a very high risk, complicated pregnancy and their delivery was no different. During my pregnancy I had very severe gestational diabetes and was taking five to six shots of insulin daily and testing my blood sugar every two hours. By the time my boys were born, my entire mid-section was black. Not bruised. Black. My fingers were so sensitive from the blood tests that I could barely type or hold a pen. It wasn't pretty.
Ultimately I ended up with an emergency c-section. Even that had its complications (eighteen tries by two anesthesiologists to give me an epidural were unsuccessful). My sons were born six weeks early and after two weeks in the nursery we were finally able to have both boys home. I had two daughters at home that were both born without the high wire acts and a surgeon, though they were single babies and born around a decade earlier.
My body didn't like this whole thing. It kinda flipped out to be honest. The healing from the surgery was not easy, but that's normal. I mean... they take your uterus out. Uteri do not like to be outside. Trust me. That May, I was still feeling pretty terrible. I was in pain, I was exhausted but not surprised about that. Twin newborns aren't exactly conducive to a good night's sleep. This was something deeper, but it would take me a long time to figure out what the heck was happening to me. I had postpartum depression with my first daughter, but this time I didn't feel sad. I just felt pain. Deep, muscle and joint pain through my entire body. If you've ever been in a car accident and was left with a very sore body two days later, you know what I mean. I was (and still am) forgetful. I could have slept all day and all night. Hugs hurt. My shoes hurt. My arms, feet, knees and back were in a constant state of tenderness and aching. My knees would turn scarlet red for no reason.
After six months of doctors' appointments and tests, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia brought on by a traumatic injury to my body... twin pregnancy and birth. For reference, this graphic depicts the trigger spots common for people with FMS:
For the next eight years I let this crappy thing rule my life. I was told to be gentle, to take my meds, to rest a lot, take more medications, rest, repeat. And I did. In so doing, I never lost the baby weight. It just stayed exactly where it was.
In August 2013 I had shoulder surgery for some bone spurs and arthritis completely un-related (thought I'm sure the couch potato lifestyle didn't help) to the fibro. Following my doctor's orders still, I was resting a lot. I took my medications. I did my shoulder stretches and exercises every day. It was excruciating and sure enough, my shoulder froze up entirely that fall and winter. I was still struggling with the fibromyalgia and now I had almost no use of my right arm. The pain was incredible. Days would go by and I had total numbness in my right hand. I cut my palm pretty badly trying to dice onions and didn't know I had done it until the counter was covered in blood. Lovely!
October 2013 was difficult for other reasons. My father had his second heart attack and ultimately had to have a triple bypass surgery. This would be my Oprah "Ah ha" moment. Heart disease had already claimed the lives of two beloved family members. I was forty-one years old and if my life depended on it, I could not have run fifty yards. I was 170 pounds and completely and entirely sick of living in pain. And now, I felt the press of mortality and genetics breathing down my back.
I used to be fit. I danced five days a week on my toes! I was strong once. I was flexible. I was healthy. I wanted it back.
I started with a full physical. My blood pressure was up, my cholesterol was way up. All I could think was, "I'm too young. I'm not ready to quit. I can be better than this." I asked my doctor about the fibro, but this time I asked, "What damage can I do if I start running or working out?"
"None," she said.
"None? Like nothing at all? Its okay to just get out there and go for it?" I asked.
"Yes. It would probably be very good for you. You're a little fat," she said. My doctor isn't American so her honestly about these things is pretty refreshing. I like her for this reason.
"Okay. So, I'm going to fix this then."
February 27, 2014 was the day I began the journey that this entire blog is dedicated to. Mid-life crises? Maybe. I don't really give a shit what it is to be honest. All I can say is that on that day I cleared out my kitchen, started counting calories, joined a gym and I signed up with a personal trainer. I took my life back. I took control of what happens to my body and I refused to even acknowledge that I had fibro ever.
My first day in the gym I still had very little use of my right arm and my shoulder was still pretty frozen. I could only raise to about shoulder height and I couldn't lift any weight at all. This was why I originally signed up with my trainer, Justin Bates at Healthtrax. I figured we would work together for a month or two until I had a good idea of what I should be doing and how. Its been just about a year and we still meet every Tuesday. Honestly, I wouldn't have stuck to it this long without his guidance, encouragement and teaching. I know I wouldn't have had half the success I've had. It is to this day the single best thing I have ever done for myself and my family.
Beginning was hard. It hurt. Every day, every minute was painful. On the flipside of that, it was exhilarating for the pain to come from a place of hard work rather than laying around and letting this fibro shit determine how good of a day I was going to have. Recovery after my workouts take longer even now. Though I have found some great supplements and tricks to help me with this.*
Something started to change for me around the third and fourth months. I had re-gained a lot of mobility in my arm and shoulder, I wasn't as sore for as long, and then I realized it had been two weeks or more since my back hurt. The weight was coming off fast and furious. I felt good! I mean, I felt AMAZING. I was sleeping better than I had in almost a decade. My hips didn't hurt. My hand stopped going numb. Going to the gym started to get a little fun. I was doing more every week. Every week!
This was where I knew that I had beat not only fibromyalgia, but a defeatist attitude that had let me waste all that time laying around in my recliner. I got a little mad at myself for this. In fact, I still get pissed off about it. I use that anger to get my ass moving. I use it to keep on going, to prove to myself that its worth it. It is all so, so worth it.
I have been nearly symptom free from my debilitating fibromyalgia for around six months now.** I am not on medication for it, though I had never really liked any of them to begin with. My knees turn red when I'm crawling around a gym floor, but they no longer do this on their own. My feet only hurt after a 5K or jumping rope for a very long time. I am not suffering from fibro now nor will I ever let it keep me in my bed again.
* For supplement or diet information, check out my Supplements & Food page.
** I say "nearly symptom free" because I'm pretty sure that the fibro has a lot to do with how sore I am and how long it takes for me to recover from a very difficult workout. I don't really know though, it could just be that I'm 42 years old.
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