It doesn't matter what I look like.
Here's what MATTERS...
What matters is that I didn't quit.
That it was hard and there were moments where I thought, "What the hell am I doing?" But they were moments and my mind was usually so focused on the task at the hand I just didn't have time to doubt or second guess.
What matters is that I made huge progress.
In SIX weeks. Not six months. Six weeks ago, I could do maybe ten decent push-ups in a row. I just did thirty this morning. The last few were very, very hard but as for a measure of progress, that's pretty good for me. I'm stronger. My arms and back and core and legs are all stronger and those muscles will matter more and more as I age. They will help keep diabetes away and heart disease and help support my joints and keeps things moving the way they're designed to.
What matters is that I met some terrific people.
Our ages span from early twenties to fifties and we are all from totally different backgrounds. Yet, this one thing that we have in common is enough. And that one thing is supporting each other to get to the next level. That is a rare thing, especially when the years of high school sports and dance classes have long past.
What matters is I shut down The Voice. Not the annoying reality show. I mean that inner voice that tells me I can't, that I shouldn't, that I never have and I never will.
The idea behind Tribe has a lot to do with our minds and The Voice. Our brains like to tell us to quit. Its a self preservation mechanism that has helped keep humankind around for so long. When you are trying to push through a workout or a long run, (or make a career change or get out of a shit relationship), its that voice telling you to quit that often wins when your body is actually capable of much more. When people say someone is "mentally strong" what they're saying is that they shut The Voice down or put it in its place.
This is where your circle of Tribe members come in to play. They're doing it too, surely you can finish. They are sweating and grunting and fighting on, so what the hell is my problem? Its as much psychological as it is physical and when you have nine people and a trainer cheering you on simply by finishing, telling you can do it, you do more than you thought you could.
You see, I know The Voice.
It kept me in my bed and on my recliner for a decade while I whined about pain and headaches and scarlet red knees and "chronic fatigue." Its bullshit. I'm embarrassed for myself. I wasted ten years of my life. I would do anything to get those years back, to go hop on a time machine and shake myself and scream, "GET UP!!! YOU'RE FINE! ITS NOT GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU'RE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!"
The Voice is the same one that told me I was too fat when I was barely 110 pounds. Its the same Voice that told me I wasn't deserving of happiness. Whatever it is, we all have The Voice. Learning to shut that bitch down will change your life. You shut it down by proving it wrong, by winning one small battle every day, by making one different choice right now. There are no big changes, just lots of little ones piled up to something spectacular.
What matters is I outdid myself.
Six weeks ago I completed a Fitness Test. On Thursday I did the same test again. If you pile up all the other things that I described above it shouldn't come as a surprise, but I was a bit shocked at how much I had improved. I didn't save anything, I didn't pace myself. I just freaking went for it. I cut my time down almost in half in some areas, at least two minutes in others. I lifted heavier weights, I did all the push ups without any modifications and I was jump roping like Ali. Okay, maybe not Ali, but it sort of all clicked and I flew through those 700 jump ropes almost like Rudy (Rudy can jump rope like Ali, I cannot. Yet.).
I did one hell of a workout Thursday and I put all I had in it. Whether I finished first or last doesn't matter, what matters is that I did my personal best on that day. It gave me the confidence to know that at the end of next season, I'll be even stronger inside and out.
And so, there you have my before and after for my first season of Tribe Fit. Its not as splashy as some photos of strategic selfies in perfect lighting. I'm not about to get thousands of shares and drop any jaws. I am still a 42 year old mother of four with a full life and a career. I'm not selling anything. I'm not into this for those reasons. My before and after photos are for me. The story of this journey I'm happy to share in hopes that it helps someone write their own.
Get out there. Find your Tribe and quit wishing for things you need to work for. I promise you, its worth it.
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