Season Three Wind Down

This was our workout Tuesday. Tuesday was week six, day one. Last week of season three and my second season doing Tribe Training. 

We saw this board and groaned. I may have overheard a whimper, but I'm not naming any names. Ok, it was me. Whatever. Moving on...

Clearly I survived. And truth be told, it wasn't the toughest workout. It was challenging but it wasn't legendary. That status goes to the week of the backward crawl and bear crawl combination. Legen... Wait for it.... Dary folks. 

My goal for season three was to complete thirty push ups without stopping. I did it Tuesday night!! There is video, but this terrible app I'm posting from won't let me post it. I will upload it. 

Tonight is our last night. We will be repeating our fitness challenge from the first night to measure progress. I'm a little worried. I knew there would be huge strides in the first season. 

I can't help but wonder if fitness gains slow the more you progress? I think they do. I am also unsure if I'm a beginner still? I feel like a beginner. I like that feeling. It makes everything possible and that of I stick to it long enough I'll get there. Maybe that's a good thing? To just always feel new at it, to always want more and so more and be better? Maybe when you think of yourself as done, you quit? And you have to know by now, Punishers  never quit. 

3... 2... 1... GO!!

Oh What a Slacker!

Here we are in the Third Season, about halfway through and I haven't posted one single thing.  For shame.

While its technically Third Season, its the second one here at Healthtrax.  With Tribe, everyone who participates across the globe does the same workout and the same season.  Its sort of global torture brought right into your local health club! Isn't that thoughtful of them?

Its interesting how these seasons stack up upon each other.  The progression of ridiculously tough workouts to even more ridiculously tough seems faster this time around.  It might be me, but I'm not entirely sure. There is a method to this madness.  The workouts are so carefully planned that you progress significantly faster than you would otherwise.  Each week builds upon the previous week forcing us to be stronger and faster and tougher not just in the quads and shoulders but our minds too.

Let me run you through a typical night of Tribe Fit:

Most of us arrive at least fifteen minutes early.  Some even earlier for a hot tub soak but we won't mention names.

We see the Workout of the Day (WOD) on the whiteboard.  Well, more like stare at it with squinted eyes for a solid ten minutes before class starts.  We aren't memorizing it, we're measuring it against all the others that came before. This is bargaining.  It goes like this, "Well, two weeks ago we did walk-outs and burpees so surely animal pushups and crawls can't be that much harder."

 We're also thinking about which kettlebell or dumbbell we should choose.  Squats? Go heavy.  Overhead presses?  Can't go light enough!  Prone rows?  Sort of heavy.

In the background noise of our brains, self-preservation instincts are hopping up and down on one foot screaming, "ME! ME! PICK ME! GO LIE DOWN! STOP IT! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! IS THAT FIRE?  YOU SHOULD REST!" The key here, as I've said before,  is to shut that lying son of a bitch down.  We might be wondering how we'll finish this craziness and then deciding that yes, of course we will finish.  We can't not finish.  Its why we're here.  We're here to win something.  To prove something.  To not feel eighty years old until our hundredth birthdays, to keep up with our kids, to be able to run and jump longer than anyone else we know.

Its the beginning of the night and already we know that in one hour we will feel a sense of accomplishment that will carry us through the night. A sense of progress and pride that is too often reserved for our kids.  Its a rare thing to be middle-aged and kicking this much ass!  Seriously, if you don't think that's a big part of it, you're fooling yourself.  Sure, most people sign up at a gym thinking "skinny, small, diet, cardio" but if you don't progress beyond that, you will quit within six months (25% of the people who make a New Year's Resolution don't last a week).  Those ideas need to evolve towards, "strong, healthy, eat, muscle."  When that happens the gym is no longer an item on a to do list.  It becomes one of your favorite things to do, the thing that tops the list and all other things must fit around.

At the moment our warm up begins (usually lasting about 10-15 minutes), the world outside the gym disappears.  There are no meetings, no grocery lists, no homework to struggle though, no laundry to wash.  There is only the matter at hand.  And it usually involves lunges.

After everyone finishes warm-up, we gather around the board.  Justin goes over the WOD, teaches us anything new we haven't done yet.  After all this time, there are still new things to learn.  For example, the Reverse Bear Crawl:

This might look simple, but I will pay you $500 if you can do 100 meters of these fricking things without swearing.  Of course, you also need to do them forwards first.

There are usually two different workouts, but sometimes not.  Usually we do things for time or start on the minute or every two.  Sometimes you work in pairs.  There is almost always a lot of jump roping (rowing is an alternate for those with knee/joint issues).  And sometimes there isn't. As the workout progresses, your fellow Tribe members push you to work harder, go faster or just get through it.  Your Tribe doesn't let you fail and when you need that kick in the ass... you get it.  This is teamwork of the highest order.

And then somehow, its done.  You finished what had once been impossible for you.  Maybe it was six months ago or a year ago, but you know that previous to this moment in your life this thing that you did was impossible. These things might include burpees.  I mean, it might.  Burpees are awful.  You should do them every single day.  That's how awful they are.

My goal is to do thirty pushups in a row, without stopping.  I'm currently at 23.

I'll post a video of me doing thirty in a few weeks.

See you on the other side...

A Different Kind of Before and After

My original thought when I started this blog was to post photos of me when I started vs when I finished my first season of Tribe.  I was, to be honest, pretty freaked out about doing that.  I'm not a "selfie" person and while I see great value in those before and afters, I wasn't so sure about plastering pictures of myself in a sports bra and shorts on the internet.  I have them and there are changes in my appearance, but to be honest with you, the changes you can't see are what really matters.

It doesn't matter what I look like.

It doesn't matter that indeed, I see more muscle in my arms and legs.  That my ab muscles are pretty firm and there's the faintest bit of definition there for the first time in my whole life.  I'm proud of this, I worked really hard.  These are side effects of what really matters and why I'm doing this.

Here's what MATTERS...

What matters is that I didn't quit.

That it was hard and there were moments where I thought, "What the hell am I doing?"  But they were moments and my mind was usually so focused on the task at the hand I just didn't have time to doubt or second guess.

What matters is that I made huge progress.

In SIX weeks.  Not six months.  Six weeks ago, I could do maybe ten decent push-ups in a row.  I just did thirty this morning.  The last few were very, very hard but as for a measure of progress, that's pretty good for me.  I'm stronger.  My arms and back and core and legs are all stronger and those muscles will matter more and more as I age.  They will help keep diabetes away and heart disease and help support my joints and keeps things moving the way they're designed to.

What matters is that I met some terrific people.

 Our ages span from early twenties to fifties and we are all from totally different backgrounds.  Yet, this one thing that we have in common is enough.  And that one thing is supporting each other to get to the next level.  That is a rare thing, especially when the years of high school sports and dance classes have long past.

What matters is I shut down The Voice.  Not the annoying  reality show.  I mean that inner voice that tells me I can't, that I shouldn't, that I never have and I never will.

The idea behind Tribe has a lot to do with our minds and The Voice.  Our brains like to tell us to quit.  Its a self preservation mechanism that has helped keep humankind around for so long.  When you are trying to push through a workout or a long run, (or make a career change or get out of a shit relationship), its that voice telling you to quit that often wins when your body is actually capable of much more. When people say someone is "mentally strong" what they're saying is that they shut The Voice down or put it in its place.

This is where your circle of Tribe members come in to play.  They're doing it too, surely you can finish.  They are sweating and grunting and fighting on, so what the hell is my problem?  Its as much psychological as it is physical and when you have nine people and a trainer cheering you on simply by finishing, telling you can do it, you do more than you thought you could.

You see, I know The Voice.

 It kept me in my bed and on my recliner for a decade while I whined about pain and headaches and scarlet red knees and "chronic fatigue."  Its bullshit.  I'm embarrassed for myself.  I wasted ten years of my life.  I would do anything to get those years back, to go hop on a time machine and shake myself and scream, "GET UP!!!  YOU'RE FINE! ITS NOT GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU'RE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!"

The Voice is the same one that told me I was too fat when I was barely 110 pounds.  Its the same Voice that told me I wasn't deserving of happiness.  Whatever it is, we all have The Voice.  Learning to shut that bitch down will change your life.  You shut it down by proving it wrong, by winning one small battle every day, by making one different choice right now.  There are no big changes, just lots of little ones piled up to something spectacular.

What  matters is I outdid myself.  

Six weeks ago I completed a Fitness Test.  On Thursday I did the same test again.  If you pile up all the other things that I described above it shouldn't come as a surprise, but I was a bit shocked at how much I had improved.  I didn't save anything, I didn't pace myself.  I just freaking went for it.  I cut my time down almost in half in some areas, at least two minutes in others.  I lifted heavier weights, I did all the push ups without any modifications and I was jump roping like Ali.  Okay, maybe not Ali, but it sort of all clicked and I flew through those 700 jump ropes almost like Rudy (Rudy can jump rope like Ali, I cannot. Yet.).

I did one hell of a workout Thursday and I put all I had in it.  Whether I finished first or last doesn't matter, what matters is that I did my personal best on that day.  It gave me the confidence to know that at the end of next season, I'll be even stronger inside and out.

And so, there you have my before and after for my first season of Tribe Fit.  Its not as splashy as some photos of strategic selfies in perfect lighting.  I'm not about to get thousands of shares and drop any jaws. I am still a 42 year old mother of four with a full life and a career. I'm not selling anything.  I'm not into this for those reasons.  My before and after photos are for me.  The story of this journey I'm happy to share in hopes that it helps someone write their own.

Get out there.  Find your Tribe and quit wishing for things you need to work for. I promise you, its worth it.

Eat to Perform

I got to a point recently where my weight loss stalled.  No matter what I did, the scale stopped moving.  I don't have a lot of weight to lose anymore, its really more about leaning out and dropping some body fat percentages and gaining lean muscle mass.  This is body re-composition and its flipping difficult and frustrating and one of the most rewarding things I've done.

I reached the point where all my regular tricks stopped working.  It happens.  For the most part, weight loss is as simple as eating less calories than you burn.  Voila!  Scale loses numbers, pants get bigger.  When you add in the desire to build muscle, things get weird.  Muscle needs calories.  A lot of calories.  When you're still trying to lose that bit of fat, this means that you need to be really strategic about burning the fat but building muscle.  I was at a loss to be honest.

Here's the things I tried but didn't work for me (these things might work for you though, its all trial and error):

1. More cardio!  I was doing cardio of some sort 3-4 days per week for thirty minutes.  Cardio sucks.     Honestly, I know its good for me but it took away from the time I could be spending building      
    muscle which is really the cornerstone of good health.

2. Less calories!  I dropped back to 1200 calories daily and promptly became super hungry,
    headachey, grumpy and very tired.  Very. Tired. I was barely making it through my workouts
    which was not a good thing.  I last six days.  It was ugly.

3. Less carbs!  I went super low carb.  Almost ketogenic.  The scale did bump a bit, but I was so
    flipping tired and dizzy all the time I couldn't stick to it.  I lasted three weeks of pure hungry hell         and  lost exactly 1 pound.

4.  Less scales!  Finally, I decided to just forget it and accept that it would just take me ten years to lose 3% body fat or maybe never.  I was really fed up.

So, I needed to get sciencey on this.  I needed something that others in my spot tried and succeeded at. I had been very, very good at losing fat for a long time. And keeping it off.  I kept it simple, I ate when I was hungry, I ate whole foods 90% of the time and I didn't beat myself up over a slice of birthday cake.  I was balanced, I wasn't crazy pants and I was keeping it healthy.  So, what was I doing wrong??

It turns out that when your body gets to a certain body fat percentage (under 25% for women, I'm at approx 23%), it really loves to hoard fat and calories.  Every calorie you eat becomes a prized possession that your fat cells just don't want to let go of. You need to trick it into giving up the goods.

 I discovered Eat to Perform and the Wave Method.  What I liked the most was that you eat A LOT.  You just don't eat a lot everyday.  Rather, you strategically time your calories, what sorts of food you eat according to your workout schedule.

I joined ETP and immediately it made sense to me.  I was able to work directly with one of the administrators who took a lot of my personal information and turned it into a solid eating plan.  I was also told not to workout more than 3-4 days per week at the most.  You see, I'm only on a caloric deficit on days I don't work out, so these are the fat loss days.  Days I do work out, I eat more to fuel the workouts, recovery and muscle building but I'm losing fat on these days.  These are building days.
For the first time in my life I'm tracking macros.  I need to hit a certain amount of protein, fat, carbs every day.  Those macros are different on rest days where I reduce my carb intake and therefore reduce my calories.  Rest days I'm eating 1600 calories.  I

Workout days I'm eating 2,025 calories. I have to eat slow carbs an hour or hour and a half before a workout along with some protein.  This can mean some oatmeal and a hard boiled egg or some peanut butter.  Post workout I need to eat fast carbs. Ripe banana, a pop tart, cookie, something that is going to give my body a big boost for recovery.  Dinner is a lot of protein and with another carb snack before bed.  Adding this many carbs back into my diet was scary.  Adding a scheduled flipping rice krispie treat?!  Its crazy, but it works.

 For someone who forced herself to go to 1200 calories, this is like a gift from the heavens.  I struggle hitting that number and trying to get over 100 grams of protein a day was tough at first.  I'm doing pretty well and its only been two weeks.  I'm sure as heck not hungry.  And I get to snack right before bed!

All of this sounds totally backwards. I know.  After reading the ebooks you get when you sign up and reading the science behind it, it makes a lot of sense.  Not to mention the boatloads of real athletes out there who use this to great success.  From body builders, gymnasts, power lifters, crossfit champions, this is the way they eat.

If I've learned anything this last year its that my body isn't special.  It responds exactly the same way as anyone else's to good food and exercise. We're all made of the same stuff and with time and consistency, my body will eventually look the way I want and do the things I want it to do.  That's not magic, that's hard work and a lot of fun.

A Hard Lesson and Burpees

It seems there is one really big lesson that I refused to learn until about a week and a half ago.  I was sick during my last Tribe class and I decided to power through.  This was a poor decision. I ended up knocking myself down a few pegs and missed an entire week of work and Tribe. A whole week!

The lesson here is that when the sick is in the chest... you stay home.  Head colds?  No big deal. Bronchitis?  Bigger deal.  Almost pneumonia?  Don't be an asshole.

So, there you have it.  The same goes for sore muscles versus an actual injury.  Sore muscles usually feel better after a stretch, injuries go the opposite way.

Listen to your body, give it time to heal or recover or face the obvious consequences of making things worse.

I'm really not that smart am I?  Ugh.

I returned to Tribe on Saturday when I did a makeup class.  I was operating at about 90% so I didn't push it and I honestly didn't think I would finish the workout, but I did! I took my time, drank my water, breathed deeply and just kept checking in on myself.  It was a great workout (they all are) and I even had two other Punishers with me! K.C. and Nick (aka West Side) were there as well and it was pretty awesome to have some familiar faces.

Which brings me to....

Ever since Tribe started, I haven't been to the gym and not run into someone I know.  This sounds silly and maybe not a big deal, but it really is.  There is something very, very cool about walking into a space and someone knowing your name.  It makes the space feel like your space. When I first joined the gym, and I think this is pretty common, you tend to stick to areas you are familiar with. I would assume I was being judged (I wasn't) or gawked at (I wasn't) or just totally out of my element (I wasn't).  If you're a regular at a bar or a restaurant or a coffee shop, you know what it feels like to have someone know your name.  To know a little about you, to appreciate you being there and having a shared goal or a common interest.  It makes going that much easier.  It makes me less likely to want to procrastinate or make some lame excuse why I can't go to the gym.  Knowing people there makes me want to go there.

I can't explain it more simply than... I like those people and I like how I feel when I do the things at the place.  Eloquent stuff right there.

I got to see the White Board with tomorrow's workout on it.  Folks, burpees are on there. One hundred of them.  Fifty to start, fifty to finish.  And double unders (jump rope twice around per one jump) which after trying for way too long today I still cannot do.

Did I mention tomorrow's workout has a hundred burpees?  If you pray, I'll take them.

Halfway Point

Tonight we finished week 3.  This marks our halfway point and what a crazy way to commemorate the moment.  I'm a little sick, I've had an upper respiratory infection for almost a week and it was really kicking my butt today and tonight.  I think its on its way out, but my lungs were burning tonight.  Had a moment where I wasn't sure about the relationship of gravity and floor vs ceiling and weightlessness.  Needless to say, I did my best and it wasn't that great.  Better than staying home thoug

Here's the weird thing about this.  I think I would have had to be on my death bed before entertaining the thought of not going tonight.  Its really that fun.  It hurts, its hard, it makes me question my own sanity, but I've yet to find more satisfaction in anything else I've done in a very, very long time.  When that workout is over and we're all just breathing and sweating... we're all smiling too.  

My initial goal for Tribe was to be able to complete 20 push-ups consecutively.  I'm halfway done and I can do this.  Is forty within reach?  Maybe thirty. Yeah, thirty.  I can do many more in the workout (I've done 90!) but all in a row is tough.  And then of course there are the super fun kind that has you jumping your arms in and out.  I'm still emotionally scarred.  I'll be okay.  I mean its not like we had to do Traveling Burpees or anything.  

Here, let me explain this for you.  Google a burpee if you aren't sure what I'm talking about and then say a prayer of thanks to whatever god you feel appropriate.  Okay, so you do that.  Then you take one giant leap forward and then  you do another one.  Just do that until the dark clothed man carrying a scythe starts tapping you on your shoulder.  Those were Traveling Burpees.  

This was a hard workout.  It was incredible that I could do half.  A year ago I couldn't have finished our warm-up.  As our sadistic leader says, "You need to do a season of Tribe to be fit enough to do Tribe."

Amen.  

To my fellow Punishers... you all kick ass.  Seriously, I count myself lucky to be a part of this and I wouldn't want anyone else with me on this.

A Tribe is Born

Tuesday was our official start.  And in true Jenn fashion, I totally over-thought everything and under-estimated myself.  I'm not sure what happens or why, but I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I've been working on this stuff for a year and I can do more than I think I can.

I totally wimped out Tuesday.  It was a fitness test and I was supposed to go all out and kick ass and I freaking didn't.  I played it safe.  I ended up feeling like I had sold myself short and I didn't do my best at all.  I did do 700 jump ropes in around 7.5 minutes, but the rest of the workout? Crap.

I beat myself up over it all the rest of the night.  Wednesday came and I wasn't even sore other than some calf tenderness from the jump roping.  I want to be sore.  I want Wednesdays and Fridays to be rest days for a reason and I want to feel every muscle telling me it hates me.  I want it to count.

Thursday workout, I was ready.  Well, I wanted to be ready.  I've been having some tough days at work and the stress is pretty crazy.  I spent Thursday nursing a headache and generally feeling awful.  I actually thought about not even going, taking the night at home and seeing Aaron.  I hadn't seen him awake since Sunday and I was missing him (we work opposite shifts.)  I got home and he told me to get my ass out the door.  I did.

Right before we started I had a brief conversation with Carlos, one of the awesome trainers at the gym, and Rudy who is in my Tribe.  Rudy can jump rope like a boxer and is generally just a bad ass.  We briefly discussed that this whole thing is a mental game.  Its not always about being strong or being able to do a whole bunch of burpees, its about believing you can.  It was exactly what had been on my mind all day.  So, at that moment I just gave in to it.  I just let go of all the negative stuff in my head and decided that that night, I was going to give it my everything from the moment we started.  No reserving energy, no holding back, nothing.

And then Justin explained the workout.  In fact, he had to explain it several times because it just didn't seem like it was possible.  Here's what we were to do:

250 jump ropes

Set 1:
15 Push ups
15 Side lunges
15 Prone rows
15 Squat jumps

Repeat this three times

20 burpees

Repeat Set 1 three times again

20 burpees

250 jump ropes

You get all that?  We were incredulous.  All ten of us. Added up, that's 90 push ups, 90 side lunges, 90 prone rows, 90 jump squats, 40 burpees and 500 jump ropes. I did have to use my knees on the last 30 push ups, but I did them.  I did them all dammit and it was glorious!

On my last set of prone rows, I was hurting.  At that point another Tribe member, Jeff, was ready to start his last prone rows as well.  We were side by side and we just went for it.  I don't know if it was as much of a help for him as it was for me... but his support and effort totally carried me through that last bit.  If you ever wondered how heavy a ten pound dumbbell can be, do the exercises as described.  I swear those things felt like a hundred pounds!

So, guess what happened?  I finished.  With about a minute left, I dropped my jump rope and looked around.  Smiles.   A lot of sweaty, happy, satisfied, exhausted smiles everywhere.  This is the best part of this type of workout.  In a large group, you get to know a couple of people but mostly its a bunch of strangers.  Here, you know everyone's names and why they're there and who they are.  You cheer each other on and you do more than you imagined possible simply because you have a group of people expecting you to finish, believing that you can.  In only this tiny bit of time, I can see where this is headed.  In this day and age of Facebook and email and texting, its a rare thing to have a group of real people your age experiencing this sort of thing.  Of being a part of something.  (I realize this sounds super corny, but its the truth.  I'm a sap.  I know.  Its okay.)

Last night, we named our Tribe after reflecting on our self-punishment.  Laughing about how we actually signed up for this crazy thing and how hard it was, but still wanting to do our best, to challenge ourselves in new ways every week.

I am so proud to count myself among The Punishers.  Ten bad asses trying to be better.  I haven't had this much fun since I was a kid.

P.S. I earned this rest night of writing.  My arms are sore, my hip flexors are on fire.  I'm loving every minute.  Those bastards will be stronger tomorrow.